Snow Angels
by AerianaEve
Summary: As part of a school service project, Megan and Sebastien discover more about each other and themselves.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One  
**  
"So I expect a full report on your service projects by the end of the week. And proof that you did them!" Ms. Wiley dismissed the class for the day and fell back into her chair, reaching out for her coffee cup.

"Ms. Wiley?" Megan approached her timidly.

"Yes, Megan?"

"Well, I've been thinking of volunteering at the welfare office. I've been doing a little work there and I'm headed there later today. Is that ohkay for the project?" she asked.

"Welfare office? Yea, it's fine. Especially for you kids, living here! Should be a good experience." Ms. Wiley regarded Megan silently for a moment. "It's good, Ms. O'Connor, good." Megan left the room and went to go meet up with Tanis, Adena and Sébastien for a doubles game. "Where's Squib and Cam?" asked Adena. "Squib's got guitar practise, Cameron's out somewhere, and Cody's spending some quality bonding time with her dad," answered Sébastien, getting up after a few stretches.

"Quality bonding time…sounds like fun!" said Adena. They divided up and she lobbed the ball over to Tanis and Sébastien. The game went well, with Megan and Adena winning the match 4-2, 5-1, 4-2. 

As they all packed up, (Rick had come to remind them that their court time was over) Megan caught a glimpse of her watch. "Oh crap! I have to go guys…service project at the welfare office." She hastily stowed away her racket and sprinted back to the dorms to change. 

---

"Have a good evening sir," said Megs tiredly. She'd been standing at the tellers booth for a good three hours, asking mindless questions and filling in form after form. "Next, please." 

A man with thinning hair and a grey-green top stepped up to the window. "I... I'd like to register for welfare?" His voice seemed familiar, but Megan couldn't place it.

She pulled out a pink slip of paper, and uncapped her pen. "Last name?" 

"Dubé. Henri Dubé." Megan wrote in the "d" then looked up at him. 

"Did you say Dubé?" 

"Ah, yes." He looked perplexed, but smiled encouragingly.

"You wouldn't happen to have a son, would you? Sébastien, at Cascadia? Tennis player?" She'd dropped the pen and leaned over the desk.

"Oui! Sébastien, you know him?" Mr. Dubé asked.

"Very well." Megs heard a cough behind her, and helped him fill out the form. After checking it over with her supervisor, she handed him his first cheque and asked if she could wrap up for the day. As she donned a jacket and mittens, Megan ran out of the office to see if she could catch Séb's dad. Alas, he'd disappeared into the snow. Sighing to herself, she started the walk back to campus, trying to remember everything he'd said in his application. Megs broke into a run and ran the three kilometres back to Cascadia, debating whether or not she should mention it to anyone- or to Séb himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Megs hung her jacket up, tucking her mittens into it's sleeve. _Now what do I write for that report?_ She thought. The door burst open and Tanis and Adena came through, both looking exhausted.

"Hey Megs, how was your community service thing?" asked Adena.

"Yea, it was at the Welfare Office, right? You've _got_ to get some good stories for Wiley's report." Tanis tossed her racket onto her bed and turned to face Megs.

"It was…long," she said shortly.

Adena raised her eyebrows at Tanis. "Yea…that's good. Listen, do you think I could just fake the report? It's not like anyone around Cascadia actually _needs_ help!" Megan laughed hollowly- it was too cruel that Adena had thought to mention that. After all, she'd thought Sébastien was just as wealthy as the rest of them for six months. And she'd fallen in love with him too…

"I'm sure you'll uh…you'll find something to do." Megan wandered out of the room, and proceeded to walk around the building aimlessly. 

"Hey Megs," she heard. Looking up, she saw a flash of bright red hair, followed by the flash of a camera. "You're the picture of teenage angst, you know that?" 

"Mmm," Megan answered Cody. "Just feeling a little…out of sorts." Cody lowered her camera and eyed her.

"Anything wrong?" Cody asked as they continued walking. 

"No…well, I have to tell someone!" Megan pulled her into a corner and whispered the whole story to her. "So it turns out Sébastien's dad wasn't able to make this months rent and he's applying for welfare."

Cody looked uncomfortable as she said this- partly because she was only halfway into the corner, and partly because she'd already known this secret for quite a while. "Well…what difference does it make? He's still Sébastien."

Megan looked taken aback. She'd figured from the moment she realized Mr. Dubé was Séb's dad that things would have to change. "I…I don't know," she stammered.

Suddenly Cody felt a tapping on her shoulder. "Oh! Hey! Séb…" she said awkwardly.

"Hey Codes…I'm going out this weekend- gotta meet my dad for a uhh…diplomat's reception," he said, watching Meg's from the corner of his eye.

"Right, a diplomat's reception. I'll tell Squib and Cameron and them," promised Cody. 

Sébastien sighed, "Thanks Cody." He nodded a hello to Megan, and turned around to leave. 

As his footsteps faded away, Megan hissed, "You knew? You've been covering for him the whole time?"

"Well what was I supposed to do? I saw him sneaking off campus a few days after he showed up at Cascadia and I got curious. My dad's the school shrink, maybe I accidentally kinda sorta maybe caught a glimpse of his school transcript!" Cody shrugged. "And then- well, I was bugging him about staring at Adena after class a few months ago, and then it turned out he was watching you and I let it slip that I knew…and I've been covering for him ever since."

Megan's scowl softened. "He was watching…me?" She still harboured thoughts of spending hours alone with Sébastien, even if she'd been tempted by Cameron a few times. The new kid Nate would have been a good prospect if he wasn't so obviously in love with Cody- even though she and Squib were still together.

"Yea! That whole stupid thing with the banquet, all he talked about was Megan Megan Megan Meg-" Cody caught herself and blushed.

"So what do I do then? I don't want to drive him away…what if his dad mentions he met me?" Megan bit her nails self-consciously, still warm from the idea of Séb thinking about her.

"I…I don't know. Just wait and see, ohkay Megs?" Megan nodded, and they both slipped out of the corner and headed for The Open.

---

"Sébastien, I've got something to tell you." Mr. Dubé put away the damp cloth he was using to wipe the counter, and walked over to his son. Arnie's had closed an hour ago, and they'd just finished cleaning up. Séb had laid out his books on the table, wondering if he could count his work at Arnie's as volunteer service. Of course, he really didn't have a choice about it… "Séb? Sébastien?"

"Huh? Ouay, papa?" 

"Well…your tuition went up this month and I couldn't make the rent. So I requested welfare assistance." Henri Dubé sighed and slid into the seat next to Séb. "Don't worry, we'll make it through, right? After all, your maman is still watching over us." He lifted his eyes to the ceiling and gave Sébastien a gentle shake.

"Right…but why didn't you just ask me to come and help more? Papa…welfare?" A pained looked grew on Sébastien's face. He knew Cascadia was eating up more money than ever, but what could he do? He already had to deal with practise and homework!

"Ohh you're so busy at that school. I couldn't- we'll be fine. Eh?" Henri stood up and gazed down at his son. "I forgot- I met one of your friends at the welfare office! _Une belle fille_…I think her name was Michelle." 

Sébastien's heart stopped, and he turned pale. "My- my- was it Megan?"

"Ai! Yes, Megan. She was very nice, she even told me a few stories about you. Ahh always getting in trouble, eh?" With another pat on the back, Mr. Dubé went into the backroom for a final sweep.

_Oh God, what do I do now? _Thought Séb. _That's why she was hiding in the corner with Cody…how am I supposed to act around her? What if…_

"Sébastien?" called Mr. Dubé.

"_Oui_, papa?" he said, shaking himself out of this trance.

"A little help?" Séb rose from his seat, abandoning his homework and his thoughts for a moment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_Authors Notes:  
a) I couldn't find Saint-Césaire on Google Earth, so I can't tell if it's really close to where real-life Cascadia is.   
b) For our purposes, the Hospital is within walking distance of Cascadia. I located Pierre-Boucher Hospital, (where Jaclyn and Vadim were taken after the accident) and saw some tennis courts behind it. For our characters it's almost a cruel irony, but important as well.   
c) A G2 is the second driver's license level of three in Ontario. I guess it's the same in Québec.   
d) It's pretty normal for teacher's to give student's rides at my school, so Wiley and Séb in the same car isn't that wild. For me.   
e) Shotgun is the passenger seat next to the driver.  
f) My French teacher is always bugging me about how I forget that there is no AM-PM in French, so 18 00h refers to 6pm. _

Enjoy chapter 3.****

"Mr. Dubé I'd like a word with you after class," whispered Ms. Wiley. He nodded and she continued making her rounds down the rows of students, watching them work. When the bell rang he approached her desk tentatively.

"Ms? You wanted to-"

"Yes…Sébastien, I haven't received a confirmation of your service project placement yet. Is there a problem?" Ms. Wiley looked up at him questioningly.

"No…I've just been…busy, lately. And I don't really know what to do." He pulled a seat up to the desk.

"Well…I've heard from the hospital. They're looking for a few volunteers doing desk work in the children's and youth floor. It's specialized, so most people just volunteer with the whole hospital. They're really in need of some good workers, and I was thinking of you…you up for it?" Ms. Wiley handed him a sheet of paper with info on the Starlight Floor.

Sébastien skimmed over it silently and decided to do it. It said that after some volunteer experience, he could work there part-time. It was a long shot, but he could earn some money for his father and get them out of debt. "I'll do it. When do I go there?"

"Well…they didn't specify any date, but I'm headed for the hospital today…I've got to pick up the new physiotherapist and help her fill out some paperwork from there. I'll give you a ride, if you hurry up and get your jacket." Wiley looked up expectantly.

"I'll be back in 10 minutes." With that, Séb walked out of the room and jogged to and from his dorm room, leaning in just far enough to grab his coat off the hook on the wall. 

"Ready, Mr. Dubé?" Ms. Wiley slipped on a pair of gloves and jingled the keys. "You've got a G2, don't you? Why don't you start up the car." She tossed them to him and he grinned, running down the hall to the staff parking lot.

"Hey, Séb!" he turned and saw Megan in the hall. "Where you going?"

"Ah… Wiley's giving me a ride to the hospital so I can do my service project. She got me a place working on the Starlight Floor at Pierre-Boucher Hospital. I heard there's some courts near there too…"

"What? The Starlight Floor?" she double-backed to look at him, then stared resolutely at the floor.

"Yea…why?"

"No reason! Bye!" Megs ran away and Ms. Wiley came up behind him.

"Let's get a move on!" They had a fairly quiet drive down to the hospital, and once Ms. Wiley had directed him to the top floor Séb was on his own. He took the elevator up and stepped out into a hallway where the walls were decorated with stars. Going around a corner he saw a pleasant looking office.

"Hi…I'm Sébastien Dubé. My teacher, Ms. Wiley told me I could come here to do some volunteering?" he said to the receptionist.

"Oh thank God! I'm buried in filing…it's really simple, all the files are organized alphabetically by last name. Until I get more time that's pretty much your only job. If you want to get started now I've got a pile for you- Sébastien? I'm Wendy, by the way."

Séb nodded, confirming her pronunciation of his name. No one in Canada had gotten it with the proper accent anyways, so he let it slip. He pulled off his jacket, gloves, and toque and grabbed a few of the file folders. The names barely registered as he let his mind wander, tucking in the folders as he pondered his father's situation.

_Adam Forb, Maria Cruz, Anna Lee, Megan O'Connor, Andrew Pre- _wait. Sébastien checked back to the file he'd just put away. _Megan O'Connor. _Séb resisted the urge to open it- it was pretty thick with various papers. "So," he said, thinking quickly. "Do you get to know a lot of these patients?"

The receptionist smiled at him. "Yea, after a few visits I can usually recognize them. The older ones- around your age- talk a lot too. I had an interesting conversation today with a boy here…he was talking about his school."

"Really? Wow…any uh…any other good ones?" he asked, hoping for her to mention Megs.

"Ahh they're all good, aren't they?" She sat back in her chair, thinking. "Hm…if I could get the names…pass me a few of those?" She indicated the folders. Séb grabbed a few off the top of the pile and wedged Megan near the top of the bunch. "Daniel's always a good laugh!" Wendy dove into a long story about Daniel, and Séb started to get a little anxious. Finally she went through a few more folders and landed on Megan's. "Megan O'Connor! Oh she's amazing…she goes to this tennis sch-" She stopped and eyed Sébastien. "Tennis school. You're from Cascadia too, aren't you? I remember Ms. Wiley talking about that on the phone…you must realize Sébastien that all of this is confidential. You're not supposed to know about her."

"I know but…"

"But what?"

"It's a long story." Séb glanced at the clock. Wiley had given him one hour to get started at his new job.

"I've got time…well, I don't but this will be my exception. You might as well tell me."

"She's actually one of my- my good friends. I knew she was having problems before matches but…we've even got our own psychologist at school! If Hartley couldn't help her then something must be wrong! And she knows about me anyways." Séb wasn't altogether pleased with what he'd said- it barely made sense.

"Knows about you?" Wendy gave him a piercing stare and he felt exposed beneath it. 

"I'm…Cascadia's a rich school. And I just found out that my dad's on welfare." Séb started to babble. "Worse, he registered while Megan was working at the welfare office! She knows everything and I don't want things to change because if they do she might not- not like me anymore. And I couldn't stand that, she means too much to me." 

Wendy smiled. "Awww that's sweet. I love you guys, I can always get you to spill all with one look. But I know from talking to Megan that she won't mind. If you don't feel comfortable keeping this to yourself, just talk to her! You'll work out." She glanced at the clock and her eyes widened. "Oh I've kept you for too long! Out! I'll see you soon Sébastien." 

A little confused, Séb bundled up and waved bye to Wendy before heading down the elevator. 

"How did it go, Mr. Dubé?" asked Ms. Wiley as she stood next to the new physiotherapist. 

"D-uhh…it was…g-g…it was good!" He stared openly- she was honestly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, apart from Megan and his mother.

"Good to hear! This is Monique, she'll be joining us at Cascadia. She's riding shotgun if you don't mind." Shaking his head, Sébastien followed the two women out into the parking lot and spent the ride back in somewhat of a daze. Wendy and her eyes, Megan and her secret, his father and welfare, and Monique and her…her…everything! 

Séb ran up to his dorm and headed straight for his bed, dumping his winter clothes on the floor for once. It was pitch black outside, even though it was only 18 00h. After a few minutes, he got up and walked to the cafeteria.

"Hey man…you missed out! They were serving pasta but all that's left now is bean sprouts." Squib grinned as he tucked a pasta shell into his mouth. 

"Oh shuttup Squib! You're the one who finished off the pasta," quipped Cameron. "Saved you a seat Séb."

"Thanks…I'll be right back." Séb filled up his plate and sat between Cameron and Tanis. "Long day, eh?"

Everyone around the table agreed, and later on decided to meet in the guys dorm to watch a movie. As they all separated, Megan and Séb's eyes met, but they both looked away before any message could be sent between them.

Squib and Cameron set up the TV and queued up a horror flick. A soft knock on the door meant that the girls had found a way to sneak into the dorm. Tanis, Adena, Cody, and Megan all filed in. They settled in on the floor, Séb sitting next to Megan a little farther from the group. Top Gun watched in near silence, save for an occasional scream for the girls. When Sébastien realized that Megan wasn't even watching the movie, he whispered to her. "Did you do volunteering today?"

"No… I needed to catch up with my English homework. How uhh…how was the Starlight Floor?" she avoided him resolutely, playing with the hem of her pyjama pants.

"It was alright…I'm just doing some filing. My dad told me yesterday, you know?" Séb hoped to put her at ease before dropping the bomb on Megs.

"He did? I'm sorry…I promise I won't say anything." 

Whispering even more quietly, "I won't say anything either." Megs turned to stare at him.

"About what?" she asked sharply.

"I saw your file…I didn't read it, don't worry! I'm just worried about you." 

"You're worried about me? I'm doing fine. I haven't gone there in months anyways." Megan shifted uncomfortably.

"Wendy said you'd been there in the past few days. I didn't pry… I mean, I asked her if she knew you and then she figured it all out…she got me to tell her everything."

"It's the eyes. She just looks at you like she already knows and-" Megan smiled. "And it all comes out anyways!" finished Sébastien. They laughed together, feeling better now that they both had their secrets out.

"Look, nothing's changed alright? But you're going to have to explain it all later." Said Megan.

"Same goes for you…only if you want to." Sébastien trailed off and was drowning in the depths of her.

"I…I want a lot of things." Megan's lips barely moved, but that was all he could look at. He leaned forward, unsure. Megan exhaled and moved a touch closer as well, until they were almost nose-to-nose. 

"Megan…" "Shh…" she placed a finger on his lips and drew him forward, letting her hand fall to his shoulder. "Please." Séb reached for her and their lips touched softly, once, then twice, and once again. As they pulled back they seemed dazed. But Megs smiled softly and took his hand in hers, proving to him her trust. All around the room, each of Top Gun had chanced a look at them, and turned away in respect to their privacy. Things were changing quickly at Cascadia.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Megan and Sébastien donned their winter jackets and met each other just before dawn. They joined hands and walked around campus as the sun slowly peeked over the horizon.

"When I was thirteen, my mother died. She was the breadwinner in the house and after that we had no income. I'd been playing the Junior Circuit in France by then and managed to get a small sponsor- _L'étoiles Aujourd'hui_. Still, I couldn't support my dad and I, so we pulled some strings to get to Canada. I'd been living in a motel for two weeks before that first day at Cascadia." Sébastien stared down the floor, relieved at having spilled his secret at last.

"I remember that! Adena and I thought you were sooo um- nice…look…nice looking," Megan stammered.

"So tell me about yourself," he said, lying down in the snow.

Falling onto her back next to him Megan took a deep breath and began to explain. "I uh, I started playing against Adena. Our parents were good friends so they decided to get one coach or agent for both of us and split the costs. Of course they were always busy with work so we pretty much lived around each other. Our coach loved her. She had 'finesse'. He'd yell after every match, but only after Adena left. Eventually we got to a point where he'd grab my racket and just slam it into me." Megan's voice shook. "That's how he taught me how to swing. I guess it worked- after seeing this thing hurtling at me in _just_ that way I'd perfect it the next day."

"So what's with you and your pre-match ritual? You hold that racket so tight wild dogs couldn't yank it away." It sounded harsh, but Séb said it in the sweetest voice that Megan felt no embarrassment talking to him at all.

"That's the point. If he can't get it, he can't hurt me with it." 

"Who was he?"

"Jack. Or sir. Adena and our parents called him Jack. I called him sir."

Sébastien propped himself up on one arm and gazed intently into Megan's face. "He's not still around, right?"

Megs turned away- for the first time, she felt awkward. "No…he's still out there. I saw him last year at the K-10. He was there, in the stands. Watching."

"Did he talk to you?" Séb asked, incensed. "He tried. I saw him coming and I ran. I ran from him!" A teardrop ran down her face as she recalled him coming at her once again.

Sébastien didn't say a word, nor try to stop her tears. Instead he rolled over and took her in his arms, and Megan closed her eyes to the world for a moment. When she opened them and felt someone's arms around her she screamed and scuttled away. Breathing heavily, she dared to look up again and saw Sébastien looking at her with a bewildered expression.

"_Quoi…?_" He whispered a few incomprehensible words and looked away for a moment to let her compose herself. Brushing the snow out of his hair and walked slowly over to her. "Something wrong?"

"Uh…n-no." She hugged her knees and leaned forward. "I got…freaked out."

"It can't just be that. Megs…" he urged gently.

"I can't. Not now." Glancing up at him she got up and turned her back. "I'm sorry Sébastien." Hesitating for a moment, she ran off into the woods. 

_I shouldn't have left him like that. What if he thinks I don't like him? What was I thinking, just running away? Ugh, go faster Megan FASTER! It's not like he touched you anyways…not like Jack did. Oh God…_falling to her knees Megan wept bitterly into the snow and beat the ground with her bruised fists. _You idiot! Get back up or he'll be on_ _your back…He's not even my coach anymore! But he'll know…_Megan rose again and dug her heels down, running like she was sprinting the last 100 meters of whatever race she was in. Two hours later she ran into her dorm and scrambled into the shower, melting the snow with the hot water that mixed with her tears. _I need to forget…somehow._

Tucked into one of the couches at The Open, Séb was staring at Adena and Tanis with desperation in his eyes. 

"Look Séb, she hasn't come back since you left with her! Just calm down, alright?" Tanis said with a trace of frustration. 

"You've only asked us four times." Adena laughed and twirled her hair, turning and smiling at Tyler, sitting on the other couch.

"Well I saw you four times, and I didn't know if she came back so I had to ask you each time just in case she came back in between then and I didn't know and what if she got hurt in the forest or something happened or she met someone and then she never came back in all this time because I did something and she ran away and never got back because she was trying to run from everything including me and all that stuff from before that I shouldn't have just said and-" Séb finally shut up and buried his face in his hands. 

"Breathe." Adena patted his back awkwardly as she and Tanis shared a look. Leaving him to his thoughts, they made a hasty departure and ran from The Open, glad to be rid of Séb.

A few minutes after they'd left, Megan walked in tentatively. "Sébastien?"

"Megan!" he stood and reached out a hand. "You came back."

"Can we umm….talk? Somewhere else?" 

"Yea." Following her, Séb noticed she was carrying both their jackets. "Where are we going?"

"Arnie's."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

_A/N: Dedicated to Marielaine…who inspired me to write for the first time in months and who has listened to everything and helped me to understand what I couldn't. _****

"Hey Mr. Dubé," said Megs as they walked into the diner. 

"Salut Megan! I've got your table right here." Leading them away from the bowling alley and the main area, he seated them in the booth as far from the crowd as possible. Winking at Megs and his son, he handed them menu's and left.

"I still can't believe you snuck off campus."

"I uh…I got us a pass. Told Hartley I really needed a little time off and he wrote one out in a second." Feigning an interested air, she scanned over the sheet. "I think I'll get a Classic Burger…the whole Adena fiasco got me craving it. What're you getting?"

Not bothering to take a look, Séb said, "I think I'll get the same. Um…I'll place the order myself. Don't want to take my dad away…" Shedding his jacket, he grabbed their menu's and ducked into the kitchen. While he was gone, Megan took a few breaths. _He deserves to know, I've made my decision. Now I just need to carry it out._

"Hey," Séb said, sitting back down. Taking his hand, Megan stared at him. 

"I never finished my story…" 

"Are you sure you want to?" he asked carefully. "I'm sorry if-"

"No, it wasn't you…I just need to finish, k?"

He nodded.

"He hurt me, pretty bad…more than physically." Immediately Sébastien shifted, and he clutched her hands closer to him. "I mean, getting whacked with a racket makes you pretty weak, right?" She laughed hollowly. "So he thought to himself, 'what a great opportunity.' He used me. For whatever he wanted. And every time I was frozen… I followed his orders blindly. I sure made up for it now." 

Sébastien's dad came with their meal- smiling cautiously. "Two classic burgers. Séb…Megan's a nice girl, you should take care of her," he said, noticing the worried looks on both their faces.

In a fit of cliché, Séb replied, "Don't worry, I could never do anything to hurt her."

Patting them both on the back, Mr. Dubé left them to themselves. Ignoring her meal, Megan continued on her story. "He never went…all the way. He could have, easily. After a point I would have done anything if I thought it would make him stop hating and hurting me…but it was a false hope."

"What did he do to you Megan?" asked Sébastien, cold anger building in his voice. Who was this Jack, who dared to touch Megs?

She blinked. While she ran, she'd imagined this conversation going exactly as it had until that moment. She never thought that he'd ask exactly what happened, but Megan knew she had to tell him, for herself. "A-a lot of things. At first he just…just…" she pulled her hands away from his and intertwined her fingers, eyes cast down as she stared at them. "He touched me. Then- things changed." Megan's eyes closed, and she forced herself to focus on Sébastien and not on the words coming from her mouth. There was no other way she could tell him this while remembering Jacks' hands….Jacks' eager face, Jacks' fist and…other parts of Jack. Her eyes squeezed shut and Sébastien resisted the urge to hold her, knowing this was far from what she needed at the moment. His heart yearned to heal her, to take her burden onto his shoulders and help her forget. For now, he listened as she remembered. 

"He made me do things I never would have done outside of those circumstances. And I've tried to run from him in my dreams and months, years after I escaped him I'm still trying to run and it doesn't work because he's always following me…and even after all the running I still end up on my knees, pleading with him, 'Sir…don't make me do this…please,' and then I can still feel it! His sweaty fingers all over my body and his grip on my wrists and his disdainful foot in my bare stomach as he walks…away…like nothing is wrong! And he comes back in the morning, smiling at Adena and I and saving it all for after practise when she's gone and I can't do anything, nothing, to stop him. And I wish I could stop seeing him wherever I go, telling me to run faster, get skinnier, work harder, to get on my knees and- and…" her voice shuddered to a halt. "I'll always be there, submitting to him. Sébastien it wasn't you, I just thought…maybe he'd come back for real." No tears fell from her eyes, but she shook uncontrollably, clutching her hands so tightly her knuckles turned white. "I'm sorry…"

Séb got out of his booth and slipped in next to her. He took her hands and gently loosened her fingers from each other, and though they curled into fists of their own accord he eased them open again, letting her hands rest open on his palm. His forehead was creased with worry, and gathering her up into his arms he held her tightly, finally letting the tears fall for both of them. He cried for Megan and all she'd been through, and for his father and his sacrifices and for his mother who suffered right until the end. Megan's fingers convulsed as her arms awkwardly circled him, digging into his shirt. His hands lay smooth on her back, pushing her closer to him as they clung to each other, not like lovers but like two people who trusted each other. They may not understand exactly how the other was feeling, but they tried their best. And yes, they loved each other. 

From the other side of the room, Henri Dubé watched his son take this girl that he'd already loved like a daughter and felt so proud of him. He'd felt so blessed watching Sébastien play on his days off, but knowing that his son had grown up to be the man he was he felt more joy than he had in the two years since his wife had passed. Henri wiped his hands on a towel and tugged a tiny picture out of his apron- Sébastien, Henri, and Marie all smiling at the photographer, after Séb and Henri had conspired to throw Marie one last big party. On the back Mr. Dubé's wife had scrawled, "_Mon chére…regarde Sébastien et connais, je suis avec vous tous les temps. J'adore toi, Henri._" Smiling, Henri noticed that tonight, two couples were united at last. _Marie, je suis avec toi. _Outside the window, a new star glittered from its' place in the sky. Four more souls were at rest tonight.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six  
**  
It was bliss, I suppose. Megan and Séb felt the emotions they'd been hiding tenfold, then the relief as it ebbed away. It had been years for them all- since Henri and Sébastien had lost Marie, since Megan had finally left Jack for Cascadia. And it was over, not completely but at least the secret was out.

Sébastien let Megs rest in his arms for a few moments, then gently pulled back from her, easing away. Smiling, he used his thumb to wipe away a few of her tears. Megan let out an embarrassed chuckle and ducked her head down, resting her forehead on Séb's chest. 

"You must know, I've been trying to forget this…" she said, slowly and sadly. "And I don't know whether I want to talk about it or not, but…"

"I know…_c'est comme moi._" Séb struggled to find the words in English, unable to find the words to express what he felt in either language. "It's just- the same." 

Startling the couple, Arnie himself came over. "Sorry to interrupt, but it's closing time guys." As Séb turned around, Arnie recognized him. "You know what, stay as long as you like…it'd be a waste if you left all that food anyways."

"Good to have connections!" laughed Megan.

Blushing, Sébastien pulled over his plate and they finished off their meal in amicable quiet. Megan watched as the diner shut down and Henri made the rounds with a damp rag. After Megan finished off her meal, Séb cleared the table and wiped it down, thanking Arnie for letting them stay. 

"D'you want to head back now?" he asked.

"It's uh…22 15h now. Even with the pass we're locked out of campus until the morning." Megan, recalling her extensive knowledge of Cascadia regulations said hesitantly.

"We need somewhere to sleep?" Séb asked, and Megs nodded in reply. "Well…why don't we go over to my apartment? It's not much, and it doesn't compare to Cascadia but it can be warm. I think we have some extra blankets." 

Sébastien beckoned his dad over and relayed the plan to him. "Oh of course! Megan is welcome to stay over…ah…Sébastien, you can sleep on the cot tonight. It's not too far from here." 

Grabbing their coats and padding themselves to the cold, Megan, Sébastien, and Henri Dubé made their way out of Arnie's and walked a block or so to a run down looking apartment building. The cold metal stairs creaked as they trekked up to the third floor. As Henri unlocked the door, they stepped into a damp, old looking space. Séb seated Megan on the lone couch and disappeared around a corner, emerging once again with a torn army cot and a pair of worn out shorts. "You can sleep in Sébastien's room," assured Henri. 

"I don't really stay here much, so uh- welcome to my room," said Séb, gesturing around the tiny living room. He pulled the cushions off the sofa and yanked it open, covering it with layers of blankets and several pillows. When Megan noticed that he'd set up his cot with a single blanket and a thin pillow she tossed a few of hers over. "Thanks…it's kind of cold."

"I don't mind…your house is cozy."

"Good night, _ma _Megan, good night _mon _Sébastien" called out Henri, flicking off the light switch and turning into his own room. 

Séb turned in his rickety bed and immediately they heard a crack and it collapsed. Blushing, he pulled himself out of the rubble. "We found it at a garage sale. I'll just sleep on the floor then."

"No, there's no reason for you to do that. You can…you can sleep here." Megan patted the fold-out sofa awkwardly.

"I- alright." Sébastien picked up his blanket, laid it over both of them, and settled in with his back to her. Just as he was drifting off to sleep he felt her icy fingers searching for his. 

"I don't want to be alone tonight," she murmured. "Be with me…"

Understanding she wanted nothing more than to be held, Séb turned over and placed her hand on his waist. His fingers inched around her, and he clutched her closer. Locked together, they both fell into their dreams.

Henri tossed in the other room. The emotional night had wreaked havoc on his mind and though it had been- for sure- harder on Megan and Sébastien he felt the loneliness more acutely tonight. Megan reminded him of Marie- their names were even vaguely similar. She was smart, dedicated…secretive. Marie had been the same way, until she met Henri. They had something together that made them both stronger for life. Then…_oh mon Dieu._ Henri drove Marie to the hospital as she doubled over in her seat, clutching her stomach. She breathed- Sébastien sitting in the back helping her- and bit her lip to keep from screaming. Henri's eyes squeezed shut and his teeth ground in the dark as he remembered what happened next- just as they'd reached the hospital doors she'd collapsed. Nothing. No pulse, no breathing. Henri's throat constricted in his bed as he watched the doctors surround his wife and swirl her away into the hospital behind his eyes. Sébastien had looked at him. As they waited through the hours in Henri's memory, his real-life hands twisted the sheets into knots. Finally the doctor came out, apologized, patted them on the back, and walked away. Henri shook, and Sébastien in the other room was gasping blindly as he dreamt the same thing over and over again.

Megan's body refused to shut down. Like Sébastien's, it chose to replay the most horrible moments in her life with cruel accuracy. At first, she dreamed of Séb hugging her in the snow. Then when she pulled back Cascadia had disappeared and she was standing in the change rooms at the Oakville Racquet Club. She could hear Jack breathing heavily, laughing, and- things got iffy after that. Unlike the Dubé's, she froze in her dreams, like she had in real life. When her nightmare intensified, her body convulsed in fear. Feeling Megan's finger's scratching at his back, Sébastien thankfully awoke. 

"Megan! Megs?" he said, thinking she was shivering from the cold. When she didn't respond he sat up and shook her to wake her up.

Her eyes snapped open and immediately all the memories from the day flooded into her head. "I'm fine, I'm fine!"

"You were dreaming of him, weren't you?"

"I- yes. Thanks," Megan said. "Always him."

"I don't think we're going to sleep tonight. Do you want a cup of tea?" asked Séb, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and walking into the makeshift kitchen. Not wanting to waste energy, he left the light off and prepared a kettle of water on the old stove. "Does he always come back?"

"Yea. You were having a nightmare too, I could tell." Megan fought her instinct to force herself to sleep, and joined him in the kitchen. "It sounded…bad."

Séb looked at the floor. "No. I can handle it."

A silence erupted between them, and finally the kettle whistled. Hearing it's shrill cry, Henri jerked out of his torturous sleep and forced himself to breathe before searching out Megan and Séb.

"Sorry dad, did we wake you up?"

"No, I couldn't sleep anyways. Pass me a cup, Sébastien?" Wordlessly, Séb filled a glass and dumped a little tea in it. "What got you two up, eh?"

"Couldn't sleep either," Séb replied shortly.

Megan glanced at him curiously, than filled in for his short answer. "Séb had a nightmare too."

"It wasn't that important," he interjected, not wishing to delve deeper into his sleeping life.

"It sounded pretty important…com'on Séb," eased Megan, handing him a cup of tea and taking one for herself.

Sébastien took a seat on the edge of the fold-out couch, Henri and Megan following behind him. "I was…dreaming of- that last day." He looked incredibly uncomfortable, and it didn't help that he was speaking in his second language. "In the back of the car…at the hospital…waiting there," his eyes widened and he stared blankly in front of him. "Waiting for them to tell us for _hours_ and- and not hearing a word. And when he came out, and it was all over and I couldn't understand why he just walked away after! He left us there…_maman_ left us there. Over and over and I couldn't make it stop because every night I'm lying there trying not to think about this but it keeps coming back-" Sébastien laughed bitterly, an emotion Megan never heard in his voice. "-and I deserve it. I tried _so hard to forget!_ And I should have been doing the opposite! All of this, my entire life is a lie because I didn't want anyone to know about her and I loved her so much. I can't forget because I love her. But I tried not to."

"Why try? Even Squib would understand you missing your mom. And Cameron would be able to relate."

"And neither of them acted like they cared! Guys don't do this!" 

"You're not any 'guy' Sébastien…_maman _wouldn't want you to be like this. Perhaps…you should tell your friends." Henri thought about Marie, and knew that this was what she would want. This was not the life she'd imagine for her son. "She'd want that."

"They'll understand," Megan hugged him, and he tore his eyes away from the wall for the first time since he started speaking.

"It's 5am, do you two want to catch a few more hours sleep?" asked Henri.

"FIVE AM?" yelled Megan. "Oh God…Séb we have practise in an hour!" 

"Tennis practise?" Mr. Dubé said incredulously.

"Six days a week. Thanks dad…I'll be back on the weekend." Sébastien let Megan into the washroom and took a turn himself. He hugged his father more tightly than he had since they'd arrived in Canada. Megan came up behind him and she was enveloped in the hug as well. A few minutes later they dashed out the door and were on their way back to Cascadia, and another long day. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"You're dismissed. Go take a shower and head out to class everyone! That's right Mr. Furlong- _class!_" 

"Megs…where were you last night? Squib and Cameron said Séb was gone and when you didn't show up…Rick almost found out," prodded Adena.

"We went out. Did I miss anything? Did Rick tell on me?" asked Megan anxiously.

"Not even! The amazing Tanis just told him you were in the shower, with the water on really hot and steaming…and you were much too wet to answer the door." Grinning, Tanis pulled on her top and grabbed her bag. "He was too distracted to realize the water wasn't on."

"Tanis!" Dodging Megan's mock-angry glare, Tans waved and left for English. 

---

"I'm starved!" whispered Megan to Séb as they neared lunch.

"Ten minutes until lunch," he said longingly. "I hope they have pasta shells."

"Bean sprouts…" she answered dejectedly.

"Would you mind if I pick your lunch out today?"

"Not as long as you pick out bean sprouts."

"What's with you and bean sprouts?" 

"What's wrong with bean sprouts? They're healthy!" she protested.

"That's just nasty." 

"At least I don't have to alphabetize my m-"

Gunnerson clicked off his slideshow and glared at the couple. "Since you're obviously not going to pay attention until you get your alphabetical bean sprouts I'm going to be very kind and dismiss you early. But I want you focused tomorrow!" Blushing, Megs and Séb wasted no time in dashing over to the caf. Pushing Megan- for the first time- away from him, Séb grabbed two trays and loaded them both up with the long-awaited pasta shells. "Oh, yea." 

"Oh yea what?" asked Squib, joining them at the Group A table. 

"I've been waiting to eat these since you finished them off the last time they served it!" Séb claimed. 

"Hey Megs, you're even eating the same food as Séb now?" teased Adena. 

Not bothering to answer, Megan picked at her pasta, then took a huge spoonful out and shoved it in her mouth. A smile grew as she realized that food _does_ have taste sometimes, and she heartily devoured her bowl.

Not long afterwards, the bell rang again and they all split off into their classes. Megan and Séb were happily full now, but they could barely pay attention as they realized that tonight would be the night Séb's secret came out to the group. Hours passed and they all headed out to practise again. 

"Nice strokes, Ms. O'Connor. Just keep it more steady and smooth. You seem nervous and you need to overcome that, especially during high-tension tournaments." Gunnerson moved on down the rows, adjusting people's swings and finishing off practise with a short tennis-style scrimmage to relax the players. As they all emerged from the change rooms, Megan managed to convince Top Gun to meet up in the girl's dorm just to catch up with each other.

"So what's so important about tonight?" asked Squib over dinner.

"We've all been so busy with training that it's hard to find time to talk, right?" said Megan tentatively.

"And do we finally find out where you guys were last night?" whispered Cameron. "Or is that just between you two?"

Not sensing the innuendo behind his remark, Sébastien replied, "We just went out last night…but yea, that's part of it."

Put off by his dry answer, the rest of the group exchanged glances and continued eating- today's dinner consisted of the pasta leftovers and Megan's precious bean sprouts. Megs barely covered half her plate with the sprouts, looking miserable the entire meal.

Leaning over Sébastien whispered in her ear, "Is that all you're eating?"

She glanced at him with a desperate look on her face, "I shouldn't have eaten all that pasta."

"It's only one bowl!"

"I'll end up paying for it."

"Not anymore." Séb poured half his pasta onto her plate, but when Group A got up to leave, he noticed that she hadn't even touched it.

"We'll meet you guys in half an hour, just got to change," said Cameron.

"See you later then," Cody called.

---

As the girls set up some snacks and dimmed out the lights, they heard a knock on the door and the window at the same time. Megan opened the window and saw Squib hanging onto the sill with a triumphant grin on his face, "I beat the-"

"Hey Squib," laughed Cameron. "Told you it's faster to use the door." 

Cody pushed him away from the window and waved at her boyfriend, grinning wickedly. She slammed the window shut and pulled the blinds down, letting him sweat it out for a few seconds before pulling him into the room. "You've got problems with hanging out of people's windows, you know that?"

"Ahh shuttup. So what are we doing anyways?" he looked up expectantly at Megan.

"We actually…I mean, Séb and I have something to tell you. And Cody too, I guess." Cody looked surprised to hear her mentioned, but she simply sat down next to the low-fat popcorn and shrugged.

The rest of Top Gun joined her, sitting in a tight circle on the floor. For Megan, Adena, Cody, Squib, and Sébastien it was a bit of déjà vu, minus the possibility of expulsion. Then again, the boys could get in trouble if they were found in the girls' dorm, but they weren't very strict about that. As long as they didn't catch you doing anything that would distract you from your game, that is.

"We went out to Arnie's last night after I got us a pass from Cody's dad. We ended up staying pretty late and we realized that we'd be locked out of campus since it was past curfew. So Sébastien and his dad offered to let me stay at their apartment for the night," Megan started.

Cody sat up, incredibly aware of the sensitivity of the topic. "Apartment? I thought you lived in a mansion in France!" said Squib, his mouth full of popcorn.

"Yes well we're getting to that!" snapped Megan, pulling away the bowl. "And you call yourself an athlete…" After everyone in the room stopped and stared at her, she sheepishly returned the food and patted Squib on the head. "Sorry. Just…we're serious here, k?" Megs wrung her hands in her lap, digging her nails into her palm. "What's up Megs?" asked Cody tenderly.

Clutching her hands tighter, Megan just shook her head. Sébastien pulled her hands out of her lap and tugged them open again, seemingly entranced by her fingers. She nudged him, and without looking up he began to explain in a harsh, loud voice. "I live in an apartment because my dad and I can't afford a house. He's not a diplomat, and we don't own half of France. The only connection I have with the government is the welfare check it sends us every month, supposedly. I spend my free time cleaning up at Arnie's trying to get us out of debt, but it's not really working out so I'm hoping to get a job at the hospital after I finish Wiley's service project there. I'm not like you guys." Expecting Top Gun to reject him in a moment, he tensed and waited for their voices to attack him.

"So?" was all Adena said.

"Why didn't you just tell us?" asked Tanis. "Or did Megan know the whole time…"

Swallowing deeply Sébastien tackled the next barrier. "Actually- I only told Megs yesterday. And only because she was the one who registered my dad for welfare. Cody knew right from the beginning…" 

"What! Oh I knew it! I knew there was something going on with you two!" yelled Squib, anger- and fear- mixed up in his eyes.

"Hold it Squibber's, nothing happened!" cried Cody, holding up her hands between the two of them. "I caught him meeting his dad once… and you know, being a faculty brat has its' advantages," she said, shrugging. 

"You better be right about that…" answered Squib, suspiciously.

"Well she is," finished Sébastien. "Megan…"

Megan was shaking, and Séb held her hands tight in his. "Séb's not the only one with secrets…" she couldn't continue. After a moment, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, still clutching her hands. "Adena, remember Jack?"

"Yea. He was our old coach, before we came to Cascadia," explained Adena to the rest of the group. "He _really _didn't want Megs to leave, but she had to insist on getting a new agent to fit her 'new tennis life.'"

Swallowing deeply, Megs let herself step back into the past for the second time in two days. "I had to change agents Dena…he-" and a dry breath escaped her lips. Séb knew that she just couldn't get the words out of her mouth, and when she glanced at him desperately he took the wheel.

"Megs was always an amazing player, but Jack wanted too much. He asked her for perfection and payment for it…he was- wasn't- right. He wasn't right." Cody was listening extremely attentatively- like the rest of Top Gun- but now she was remembering how tired her father looked after meeting with Megan. How she thought that there was something especially difficult going on there, and how he said that "sometimes silence can be painful," once after she asked him about it.

"All agents can be tough," said Cameron, thinking of his failure of an endorsement deal with C+C.

Megs shook her head. "He wasn't just tough…" she winced as she saw the racket coming at her again. Her eyes seemed to see nothing but whatever was playing in her mind, and it wasn't pretty. "He used to hit me after practise, then-" she shuddered. When she spoke again, her lips barely opened and she felt every word rest on her tongue. "-he touched me. He hurt me."

Adena looked away, feeling incredible guilt for not having known. "Why did you tell us this, Megs?" she said blankly.

"Because…I can't do this alone."

"No. You just wanted to push your burden on all of us so it wouldn't hurt so badly for you. You're just selfish," Adena accused coldly, still with no emotion in her voice.

"Adena!" said Tanis, staring at her roommate in awe. 

"You want to bring down my game. You want to go to the Hampstead's because you couldn't go last year. You want me to fail." The last word hissed out of her mouth and she walked to the door. "You always wanted what you couldn't have." Turning away, she closed the door gently and they listened as her footsteps faded away. 

"She's just in shock. It's a lot to take in," tried Cody.

"No, she's right. I was selfish to tell you like this," Megan said in a hollow voice. She looked stricken, horrified at how badly the night had turned out.

"We knew it'd be difficult," Séb reminded her. "It might just…take some time."

That night Cody, Squib, Tanis, Cameron, Megan and Sébastien hardly moved from their places on the floor as they waiting for her to come back. Morning dawned, and when it did Rick burst in on the sleeping crowd.

"Adena's gone."


End file.
